Primary rubric going forward

Keep this in mind for tonight (and for all primary results between now and the convention) when you watch the returns on cable news.

Huckabee victory: a fun curiosity, but essentially meaningless (no matter how huge) since McCain has already won.

McCain win: an enormous deal, no matter how narrow the margins. (Note to readers: You might well go mad wondering why a McCain win is always a big deal, even though he's supposedly already wrapped up the nomination. But don't get worked up about the contradiction. It's McCain. All news is good news, and reinforces the "McCain is a brave, tireless, no-nonsense hero" meme.)

Obama win: Eh.

Hillary Clinton win: A major upset for Obama since Hillary has established herself as the underdog. (Note to readers: You might well go mad wondering why the "it's OK that I lost because everyone expected me to lose because I'm the less appealing candidate" excuse is such an effective way for a politician to offset the costs of a defeat, and magnify the value of a victory. But try to look on the bright side. For instance, nobody expected me to win a Heisman trophy in college, and therefore my failure to win a Heisman trophy in college says nothing at all about my prowess as a running back.)

That is all.